I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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