i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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