I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
