Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dear god my vagina.
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