He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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