then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
