yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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