Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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