Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize