Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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