Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
