yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
