All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
