Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(409): View more from Texas

Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,

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(315): View more from New York

We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same

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(+54): View more from

My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I take back everything I said about communal showers

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.

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(716): View more from New York

When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?

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(+61): View more from Australia

on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?

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