Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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