D3 body, D1 cock
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
