So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
