she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
