You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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