and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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