Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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