I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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