I want to walk on stilts...naked
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think I sprained my soul last night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
