Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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