I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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