I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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