i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
