i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"