Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.