I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes