I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet