I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
