You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
