i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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