i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize