chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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