i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
