The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
