If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
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No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
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He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize