is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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