dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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