But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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