Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
another moral hangover. fuck.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think pants incapable of making pants work
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
