Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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