Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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