How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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