their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
