Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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