He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
