adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
