I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
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There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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