I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
