You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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