At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize