Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she looked like the before picture.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
