i jhust puked up my retainher.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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