Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
