He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
