Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
