i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
