i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
no more duck duck goose at the bar
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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