Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
