then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
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Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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