I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
