He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think a kid would responsible me up
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
