i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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