You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
