IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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